Kiran Somanchi

Archive for the ‘Work’ Category

Chance Gardner & Toothisms

In Ruminations, Work on March 22, 2011 at 01:35

How to order coffee: “Caramel macchiato, motherfucker.” – The Tooth

“Yeah, I have known a few trannies.” – The Tooth

“If you cain’t eat it, you cain’t fuck it.” – L. Beaudoin

My term in the field is coming to an end. The last week has been the least work I have done out here, but the most fun I have had while on location. Person after person is a character. Most of them are racist, sexist, and pure country. I have really nothing in common with them except that most of them are foul-mouthed and perverted, even more so than I am. Most of them have cheated on their wives/girlfriends and some of them continue to do so even now. They are all pigs and unabashedly so, without any regret or remorse for constantly crossing the line by a wide margin. If they were in the office, all would have active multiple sexual harassment suits pending against them.

What have I learnt on this assignment? How to run CT ops? How to cuss out everyone for now reason except that you can chew them out? I haven’t learnt much that I already didn’t know about tight gas completions ops. For the most part, this assignment’s been a complete waste of time, with learnings relegated to minimal increments in actual usable knowledge. I wouldn’t ever do an assignment like this again unless I was in some sort of a supervisory role. This job is fairly boring with long stretches of “dog f*cking” where you are doing nothing.

I have learnt a lot about myself. I have learnt that I generally don’t like conflict with some foreman, while with other. I have learnt that if you use an authoritative voice and sound like you know what you are talking about, most people will believe you. I have learnt that I am terrible at going head-to-head with people in arguments as I cannot seem to think fast enough on my feet and that I f*cking hate to lose arguments. But most importantly, I know for sure that I will never work or live out in a small town or follow down this path as a long-term career path. It is too boring out here.

What isn’t boring are the people out here.

The one thing I have learnt is the existence of this substrata of people in the lower socio-economic classes. Which is an oxymoron as most of them are richer than I am. I have lived in more countries than most of these people have travelled to in their lifetimes. Yet, I have never really had the exposure to this class of people ever in my life before. I have always been surrounded, by the virtue of my upbringing and schooling, by the educated classes. Being out in the field has opened my eyes to the people who vote conservative. who listen to country music and think it is actually good, and who don’t support gun control as it interferes with their right to carry a weapon “in case a bear attacks me. ” These are the people who “prefer” that their wives stay home as they are “old-fashioned” and think that the house needs a “woman’s touch.”

In many ways, there are boring. Most of them aren’t educated past grade 12. Most of them consider travelling to mean spending a week in Mexico on an all-inclusive beach resort. They don’t really understand, appreciate or care for anything that happens outside of their myopic world-view. They are uncomfortable with gays and don’t think women should be in the field. I wouldn’t really want to be stuck out here with them for more than a year. Yes, there are a lot of pigs out here, but there are also a lot of good people that wouldn’t hesitate to stop at the side of the road to help you if your truck broke down.

Don’t really know where I am going with this post. I suppose I am walking down the sentimental path now that I have one more shift left. They aren’t bad people – just different. I suppose to them, city folk are all rude, weird, and obtuse. I can judge them for being uneducated, uninformed, and myopic about world views, but where does that really get me? I can go back to yyc and tell my friends about my (mis) adventures out here – all it will do is confirm their prejudices and biases. There isn’t an easy way out of ending this blog post.

I guess, at the end of the day, no matter where we all come from or what we think of ourselves, we are all cocksuckers out here.

Peace out, bitches!